Dooodeedodo....

Whenever I am thinking things, I think, "I should blog that." Then I get to the blog page, and I think....what was that again? Forgetful!

Sometimes, I get to this page, and I think...wow, I can't post that, that's very negative! Interestingly enough, I think that maybe I have been wrong to not post negative things. The past few days have been very stressful for me. I have been trying to make all the people in my life happy, but the conflicting demands make that difficult. In the end, I made myself happy and no one was hurt too too much. I don't think. :)

Last night we got together and had a bonfire, Mom, Loretta, Charlene, Kathy and Kevin and the kids. We had fun, even including Mom thinking a bear might come eat us. :) But this is the crappy part - several times during the night I found myself thinking - will this be the last time I get to do this? And I am not even SICK! Very annoying. It is kind of like there is something hanging over my head, but I can't tell what it is. Might hurt, might not.

It is almost as if, I can't be my usual annoying busy body self with my nieces and nephews because I want them to remember me as different than that. And that is kind of what I have been doing with everyine else too, trying to have a bit of a "nice" persona that really doesn't fit all that well sometimes. My lesson from the last few days is that trying to make everyone happy just makes me unhappy.

I haven't been feeling well ever since my night shift on Thursday. I am not sure if I am too old or just too stressed but...ick. I must confess I am not looking forward to the family picture tomorrow... I intended to go to Clothesline today to look for a new shirt, but that didn't happen. I will be more excited when I know what I will wear, perhaps. I think It is time to go sit in my chair with the light out and pretend I am reading.
:)